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  • Richard Gerver

What really matters

2020 has proved challenging for me so far, and I am guilty, as many of us are, of losing perspective when things get tough.


Sometimes we must search for things to help us find perspective, but other times, insights come to us just when we need them. Exactly that happened to me at a conference in Melbourne at the end of February.



I was lucky enough to listen to psychologist and broadcaster, Sabina Read talk about coping with stress and adversity in positions of leadership.


During her inspirational talk, Sabina introduced me to the work of Bronnie Ware, an Australian author and songwriter, who was a palliative care nurse. She wrote a best-selling book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying; A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing.


In the book, Bronnie explores the 5 top regrets of patients in the final phase of their lives and how, as readers, we can start to try live more fulfilling lives ourselves. Sabina shared the regrets with me and now I'd like to share them with you:


This month I wanted to share them:


1. “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”


2. “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”


3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.”


4. "I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”


5. "I wish I had let myself be happier.”


Interestingly, there is no mention of money, status, popularity or material possessions.


When we feel low or over-burdened, the ability to look up, take a breath and re-frame is one of the hardest things we can do but is also crucial for our well being.


Bronnie’s insight was a real catalyst for me and I’m off to make amends, I just hope that it's not too late.

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© Richard Gerver